"A writer’s[1] note"
When they go through the notes I left
I hope they’ll know that I died too young,
Even if I put my pen aside in old age,
I hope they’ll know I could have done
Much more.
I hope they’ll wonder what I had in mind,
Don’t let the pieces be my substitute.
Please know, I wanted more from this life
Resting on sharp tips of fountain pens.
I never thought of my work as complete
It pains me to think that you once will.
I always see a path waiting for me,
When I change this word and move
Back to another.
[1] Writer = a mythological figure invented by the recipient of a literary work for their own convenience.
"Novel writing"
I. Why is every story always some old dream?
II. I discover an idea’s true nature upon writing it down. I find another reflection of myself. No longer a revelation. Just some old, impossible dream, seen from the distance of dried ink.
III. I have many dreams of that kind. A cold quantity.
IV. They were once a little more than thoughts. Now that we meet again, I intend to reduce them to dead impressions and metaphors. On paper, artificial rules must be followed.
V. It’s not me, it’s fiction. A character. A game. An illusion. I’ll make sure that’s all.
VI. Writing is creation, they say, but…
VII. Writing is the most definite farewell.
VIII. What I wrote just now existed all along. It resembled old hopes until I couldn’t look at them anymore.
IX. Writing is closer related to courage than creativity. It may be cowardice from the world’s perspective, but it still takes courage to properly say farewell.
X. Such a long and tiring farewell.
Milena Filipps is a history student in Germany. She enjoys reading works by Marcel Proust, Jane Austen and Goethe as well as learning about art history and historical architecture. Her essays “Academic Reading” and “My Glasses” (2023) were published by Livina Press, while her poems appeared in Swim Press (2023), The Field Guide Poetry Magazine (2023) and RIC Journal (2021), among others. You can find her on Instagram (@milenafilipps)